Too Much Too Many
Witnessing a loved one’s time being robbed
And stripped from their prime
Is a curse I have endured for too long
And a weight I have carried one too many times.
Since thus far,
I am of the youngest siblings still alive,
And this occurrence
Has continued to slip by
Without anyone’s notice
One too many times;
But then again
One is too many. Even recollections
Of such events
Stay up with me sunrise to sunset;
While the little sleeps that I do get,
Dreams of loss and death:
Two separate dealings
Consume me,
Thus never am I allowed to forget
Of this nightly dread.
Perchance, once I am rid
Of all my regrets
I will be permitted again
To join the land
Of the living and
Leave the thoughts of the dead. Until then I push away all,
That chooses to pass my path
Because I feel that
Anyone that is around me,
Close enough to touch me
They too will not be around.Only those that share this experience
Can I speak to,
And only those
Who can relate to
Such frequencies
Will appreciate and concur
With the feelings that transpire
Through the living
When they are left to pick up the pieces,
Or when a loved one leaves us.How one leaves us is not important.
The remorse will take on a life of its own.
And the grief stages; well, there is no norm.
Nor is there an owner’s manual
For matters such as this;
This is not an illness awaiting a cure.
So for the people who wish to exonerate
Themselves from these toxic thoughts
It is difficult if they do not how…
How to handle the grief, how to stay on top
When the news of a loved one’s passing
Has just reached;
How to handle one’s feelings
When the event of losing a loved one
Another way
Has just been experienced.In any and all cases where
The torn of a loved one has departed
Or gone in some other way,
The question of today becomes
How they will be able to mourn
And will prayer do any good?Some of us are weak,
Some are tired,
Some of us are strong,
While others are wired
Probably because
They have others to look after;
Yet all reactions belong.
I, myself, after seeing
Too many deaths, and
Having too many people
Lean on me,
Have grown tired and weary
Of these
Responsibilities, that no longer
Can I take on.
Donny C Davied
2003 ©
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